Hip Chicks Eat Spinach

Part I

Behold. Our USDA Food Pyramid.

Let’s see what we’ve got here.

Grains- macaroni noodles (processed). A flour tortilla (processed). Triscuits or “baked wheat” crackers (processed). Some other yellow, butter looking cracker (processed). Some pieces of bread (processed). A bowl of Cheerios-looking cereal (processed). I see two “whole grains” represented in this picture, meaning whole grains that haven’t been ripped, jipped and stripped of all things that make them nutritious and “whole”. Do you see them? See end notes.

Vegetables and fruits- do you see anything wrong with this picture? This section should be at the base and make up the most of the pyramid. When raw (or haven’t been heated past 108 degrees, depending on who you ask), these foods contain the enzymes, fiber, phytonutrients, and all the vitamins and minerals our bodies need and crave.  They speak a language that the human body knows exactly how to translate, and translate well. Our bodies were designed to absorb and utilize plant-based foods, know exactly what to do with them andknow exactly how to use them.

Fats- although a “Fats” tab isn’t mentioned on this pyramid, there a “color smear” for it wedged in between the “Fruits” and “Milk” tabs. The right kind of fat definitely has its place. Think monounsaturated (think: virgin and extra virgin olive oil, canola, sunflower, peanut and sesame oil, olives, avocado, nuts and seeds), polyunsaturated fat (safflower, pumpkin seed and flax oil, soymilk, tofu, nuts and seeds), Omega  3 (wild caught, fatty cold-water fish like salmon, mackerel and herring, ground flaxseed, flax oil, walnuts) and Omega 6 fatty acids (seeds, nuts and their oils). Do you know what kinds of fat to avoid? See end notes below.

Onto the more touchy “must-have” that the Food Pyramid promotes:

Milk- ah, the dairy industry. A billion dollar industry that’s managed to position itself on our food pyramid as a “must-have”. Truth is, it’s not. The ads generated by this industry have convinced the public that milk is an “essential” in diets, especially our children’s diets. The only milk we should be drinking is our mother’s milk, and even THAT’S been replaced by canned, lab concoctions as alternatives. We are the ONLY mammals on the face of the planet that consume another mammal’s milk for kicks. Humans wean off of mother’s milk when their bodies are naturally ready to do so. Mother’s milk naturally provides all the essentials: fats, proteins, carbohydrates, and vitamins, and offers the perfect balance for a growing baby. Human breast milk is not as rich in protein as cow’s milk because a cow’s milk is meant for sweet suckling cow babies who need triple the protein for growth and development. Unless you’re a cow (which will weigh anywhere from 400 – 1600 lbs), you don’t need to be drinkin’ da’ juice.

Since the dairy industry has become so huge and demand so high, so has the mistreatment of the poor animals that supply us with this false necessity. They’re pumped FULL of hormones to keep the cows preggers in order to produce more milk. 365 days a year. Their nipples hooked up to machines that suck their poor utters until their sore. Not only do our milk and other dairy products contain all these hormones pumped into the cow’s body, but also the pus from her poor, sore utters from being sucked on endlessly by machines and what-have-you, and the estrogen she naturally produces as a result of her body thinking she’s constantly preggers. Mmmm. Got milk?

Now, I love me some cheese. I’ll be the first to admit it. BUT. I also make sure that if I do eat it, it’s the GOOD STUFF. Clean. Hormone free. Made from happy cows that are not stuck in a stall and hooked up to a bunch of contraptions forced to be milk-makin’ machines. Cows that are able to roam around, eat a natural grass diet and behave like normal, happy cows. I also love me some goat and non-dairy nut cheeses (you can find some REALLY great nut cheeses. Check out the awesome cheeses made by Dr. Cow at: www.dr-cow.com AND they deliver! Schaaaaaaa-wing).

***Great alternatives to milk are: Almond milk. Soy milk. Coconut milk. I, personally, love Almond Milk. Whole Foods carries a really good organic brand for a great price, AND it’s super-easy to make on your own!***

Meat- meat is not supposed to be a staple or a mainstay in the human diet. The meat industry has spent billions of dollars convincing us that we need it for meet our protein needs, among other things. Sure, we’ve subsisted on variations of meat for thousands of years, BUT there is a vast difference between the meat our ancestors ate way-back-when and the meat we eat today.

Way-back-when meat was wild caught. It came from animals that lived in their normal, wild habitats who survived diets natural to them and that they foraged for. The quality and nutritional content of this type of meat differs GREATLY in comparison to the type of meat we eat today.

Todays’ meat comes from some of the most abused animals on the planet. These folks are in to “meat farming” for the money and need to meet the mass demands of people who eat without thinking.  These animals are kicked, beaten, shot, crushed between metal slabs, pumped full of hormones and steroids, left in cages where there is no room to even turn their heads, laying or standing in their own defecation… the horror stories go on and on and on.

A lot of people assume that because I’m a health freak, I don’t eat meat or animal products. I do eat meat, though not often, and some animal products, but I pay attention to where the meat came from. I am very, very careful in who I support with my dollar which, in turn, says “yes, I support your practices”. 

If you do eat meat, here are a few things to consider before adding to the supply and demand of this ungodly, money-driven, unethical and immoral business (yes, it’s a business):

• the animal was treated humanely while it was alive,
• it ate a natural, grass-fed diet (if beef; not pumped of corn and other foods to help fatten it up that are not part of its natural diet),
• it was able to roam free and exercise,
• it got to enjoy fresh air and sunshine,
• it was able to engage in and live exhibiting its natural behaviors,
• it was not injected with steroids , hormones or antibiotics to fatten up and grow more quickly than nature intended.

If I ask you to do anything, it’s not to support factory farming. Every time you buy a steak from some random steakhouse. A quick burger. A bucket of chicken. A sammie from the convenience store with some animal product on it. A package of chicken breasts from the local grocery store. You’re saying “yes” to factory farming. When you buy without thought, you’re supporting the ongoing abuse, neglect, disregard and terror that goes on. Saying “yes, I want this in my system” to the hormones, steroids, antibiotics, etc.  farmers use to inject their animals with. You better believe it ends up inside you, too.

Food places make a huge profit from serving up factory farm meat because it’s cheaper for them to acquire, sell and make money from.

How will you know if the meat’s been properly cared for? Had a grass-fed diet? Was not injected with steroids, hormones or antibiotics? Was treated humanely while alive? Pride for the right way of doing things will make itself known on a restaurant’s menu description, a label, packaging, etc. Ask. Get informed.

True, there is nothing humane about killing and taking a life. The meat we eat is essentially carcass. But if you must have your meat, it pays to know that there’s a vast difference in the quality of meat you’re eating when its’ raised, handled and given to you the right way.

Polyface Farms in the beautiful hills of Virginia is a great example of what I am talking about:  (www.polyfacefarms.com). 

It’s totally disgusting and absolutely infuriating the treatment that’s permitted and that these poor animals endure. Not convinced? Watch the incredible DVD documentary “Food Inc”. You will be.

Can’t bring yourself to watch it? It’s because there’s already something inside of you that agrees with the fact that this operation is wrong. Remember- you have a choice in this.

Educate yourself. Google how factory farms are hurting the whole frickin’ planet. Wanna’ make a global impact, people? Change the way you eat. It really is that simple.

“If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be vegetarian.” – Sir Paul McCartney

Beans- beans and legumes. Want your protein? Get it here. Paired with whole grains, beans and legumes provide all the essential amino acids that meat would. They’re a great source of fiber AND protein, as well as other invaluable nutrients.

Answers from above:

Grains:  What 2 whole grains got the HC checkmark? Popcorn (great choice if you use a hot air popper or pop via stovetop) and Oatmeal (not instant, not the flavored kind…. Get the organic steel-cut oats. They boast healthier bennies than their rolled counterparts).

Vegetables and fruit: The only thing wrong with this section is the glass of orange juice (*unless it was freshly juiced at home and not from a container*) and the can of peaches. Why not just eat a whole peach that hasn’t been handled at all and soaked in syrup or “fruit juice concentrate”?!

Fats: Did you guess what fats to avoid? Saturated and Trans fats. You can find these fats in: high fat animal products, skin-on chicken, ice cream, palm and coconut oil, lard, commercially-baked pastries, cookies, doughnuts, muffins, cakes, pizza dough (except for the homemade daily, fresh sourdough dough only at Pizzeria Orso in Falls Church, VA. Shameless plug for my fiancée who is the Chef there, yes, but Orso is my personal go-to for awesome pizza and outstanding, locally-sourced food and bevies), snack foods, margarine, vegetable shortening, fried foods, and candy bars. How many of those do you or members of your family eat on a daily basis?  

Milk and Meat: think I’ve said enough.

Beans: eat more of.

*Stay tuned for Part II of this topic. The link between the USDA Food Pyramid and the Food Industry.*

Stay Healthy, My Friends…

XO,

Let’s just get one thing straight. The food “industry” does not care about your health. It cares about making money and getting their assembly-line-made, food-like products into your home and hands. That’s it and that’s all.

Clever  (very clever) and targeted food marketing and advertising has made it so confusing to the public when it comes to what to eat, what not to eat, and what’s “healthy”. Witty slogans. Celebrity endorsements. Commercials with smiling, happy families eating their products. Kids’ favorite cartoon characters dawning packages in bright, bold colors. They speak to moms and dads on the go, stay at home parents, parents on a limited budget, parents wanting to try this health “thing” out (though a package is the last place to look for health information), etc. Food marketing rakes in billions and billions of dollars for “food” companies every year, because they’ve successfully convinced the public enough to believe their hype.

How did it get so confusing? I’ll give you the simple answer. Because it counters what we already know to be true. Read that again. We innately know what is “healthy” and what is not, but the modern, rake-in-more-dough, work ‘til you drop, find-more-simple-solutions-so-you-can-put-more-on-your-plate lifestyle has been the theme for living these days, and “food” marketers speak directly to that… hence the confusion. We want to believe the hype, because believing the hype means faster. Quicker. Easier. Sooner. But our body’s innate wisdom is constantly at odds with this because it counters what it already knows is healthy and true. 

We already know what is “healthy”. You don’t need someone else to tell you, especially a company trying to weasel its way into your wallet! Fruits. Vegetables. Beans and legumes. Whole grains. The foods you don’t need to wonder about because you already know their source, how they were made, that they’re nutrient-packed, etc. Even your bevies: water, and green and herbal teas instead of soda and sports drinks. Fruits and veggies you juice yourself instead of store-bought. You already know what and how to eat, so what’s really at play here?

It comes down to values. Priorities. And self-love. Yup.

Values. What do you value most? Yours and your family’s long-term health? Setting your children up for nutritional and health-related success? How you feel every day? Maintaining a great, feel-good energy level to do the things you need to do? Or… work. Money. Meeting deadlines. Checking things off your to-do list. Maintaining a certain image of yourself (whatever that may be). Appearing like you’ve got it all together without breaking a sweat. The material things that back up this image you work so hard to maintain (snazzy car, bright n’ bold power suit, big house, the purse that everyone knows the price-tag for, etc). Saving time so you can cram in more things to do.

Priorities. Which value to you feed the most? You’ll see the answer to this in your every day actions, thoughts and behaviors in the form of how you prioritize your day and what you do.

Self-love. If you love, honor, respect and value yourself, you will also love, honor, respect and value your health and well-being; doing whatever it takes to get the very best nutritional bang into your system (as well as your loved ones’). This means sticking to what you already know. There is no substitution.

There is no substitution for healthy, nutrient-dense whole and plant foods. Bar none and none-in-a-bar. The fact that we’re constantly looking for short-cuts is what’s getting us into trouble, and this is exactly what the food marketers have picked up on and carry home for the big win… at our and our family’s expense.

What to do now? Simple. Make whole, untainted, un-ripped, un-jipped, un-stripped plant foods the core of your diet. Hit the farmers markets to get *really* fresh (and not because a package says so!), locally grown (and therefore more nutrient dense than their grocery-shelved counterparts because the length of time the food has spent away from its nutrient source, i.e. the root, tree, bush, etc, is a matter of minutes and a few miles) foods. If you eat animal products, seek out the farmers who offer these products without the use of hormones, steroids, antibiotics, etc. Ask if their meat ate a natural diet and had free roam of the property. Does this really matter, you ask? Absolutely. What the animal eats, you eat. Same with plants. If they were sprayed with chemicals, herbicides, pesticides, and fertilizers- guess what you’re eating.

We are what we eat. What we eat becomes our blood, tissues, organs, skin, hair, nails, and has a direct impact on our energy levels, behavior, etc. Keep it pure. Keep it clean, and it will be reflected in every aspect of your life.

Healthy eating is a choice. Exercise it.

XO,

Growing up, I was the animal rescuer of the family. Pigeons. Chicks from chicken farms, the gift of pink eye as a token of appreciation. Kittens. Squirrels. Box turtles from the road (Henrietta was my first. Know how to tell the sex of a box turtle? One way is to look at the color of its eyes. Red eyes = male. Amber, yellow, brown = female. I learned that from my Ranger Rick magazine eons ago. Moving on). All took refuge at Casa de Kim (thanks, Mom!).

Some of you may or may not know that I have 3 ¼ dogs. My cast of characters include:

Levi. Lab/Shepherd/Pit? mix. Rescued from an abuse situation in N.C.

Todd. Aka “The Todd-father”. A Chihuahua/Minnie Pinscher mix found in the BP Oil Spill, and Raiyna the American Indian Dog. Our only private school girl.

Chip. A Border Collie/Spaniel (??) mix rescued from a neglect situation in MS.

These are the members of my canine paw-see. They’re my daily teachers, personal trainers (rain, snow, sleet, shine, typhoon- you name it. We’re out in it gettin’ our move on), inspiration behind my next book, “My Dog, My Buddha”, and my totally awesome sidekicks.  

We hike together every day. Get out. Get exercise. Fresh air. There’s nothing I look forward to more than completely immersing myself in nature with the pups. It’s my daily natural high, and where I do my best thinking.  

ANYHOO. So yesterday we’re out on a hike. We’re about 1.5 miles deep and stumble upon….an orphaned baby possum.

Now, it’s a rare occasion that I get to enjoy wildlife for too long because if the dogs see a wild animal, it’s on like Donkey Kong. The ultimate game of chase ensues. And Levi, even though he is the most submissive of the pack, has a crazy prey drive. I’ve honestly never seen anything like it. Thankfully, I was able to spot and get to the baby before he did. He was more focused on running circles following the scent, of what I’m sure belonged to the mother.

The way I see it, and since the scent was so “fresh”, the mother possum was probably just meandering along… La, la, la, la, la… heard us coming down the trail…. “Oh, sh*t!”…. then ran off accidentally dropping a baby behind. The dogs caught a whiff and they. Were. On it. I ran up to survey and found this precious little baby just sitting there.

When I got to it, it quickly laid down on its side trying to play dead, but not doing so well at it. Bless its heart. Its teeth were just little nubs and it was so small. I felt safe picking it up… and knew I had to before Levi did.

Now, I understand there’s a circle of life we all need to honor and respect, and this baby could’ve been someone’s meal; BUT. If I come across an animal in need, I’m gonna’ be the first to assist. I’m part of the circle of life, too, and so is caring for another being in need, regardless of what form it takes. We all bleed red. We all share this beautiful planet. It’s natural to allow compassion turn into action. We’ve seen it time and time again. Dogs pulling other dogs to safety after they’ve been hit by a car and are laying in the middle of a busy highway. A pair of geese staying with an injured or ailing goose until it’s well enough to fly again. Compassion is a natural emotion. “The assist”, a byproduct.

I spent the rest of the hike on my cell phone. Making calls. Trying to find out the best course of action. I got a hold of a Wildlife Rehab Hotline. Left a detailed message, then got a call back within minutes with the names and numbers of some local folks who take in and rehab wildlife from home. My people live! Woot!

Here is what I learned: Possums birth up to 13 babies twice a year. They’re wanderers, and carry the babies either on their backs or in their pouches. If a baby falls out, it gets left behind. And the Mother of the Year award goes to…  Also, if a possum gets hit by a car, check the pouch. Many times the babies survive and are in the pouch if the unfortunate soul was a mommy possum. There are some animals best left alone, as situations may not always be as they appear to be. And some, not.

I named the little one, Timothy. But when I got to the rehab lady’s home, I learned that “he” was actually a “she”. And so Bianca it was.

As of this morning, little Bianca is doing better than well. She was started on the appropriate fluids, and has even enjoyed a peeled grape and piece of apple. She’s getting some mashed up banana later today, and has been up n’ about exploring her cage. She’ll be in rehab for another 1 – 2 mo’s then will be released back into the wild at dusk. We may even bring her back to where I found her at the Wildlife Refuge. Even with ol’ Levi on the loose during our hikes, I trust she’ll be okay since she n’ the rest of her crew naturally do their groove thang at night.

So what’s the ultimate Take-Home Message in today’s blog? We’re all in this together. Help a sista’ out. Exercise compassion for the souls and beings that we share the planet with and take other forms. As “granola”, “hippie”, “tree huggin’”, “voodoo” or whatever as all this may seem- compassion is a direct expression and extension of our soul. That is reality. It’s not a gift. It’s something we’re ALL born with but diminishes and hardens as we become conditioned to act and think in certain ways to appease culture and society. All in order to “fit in”. Embrace that part of you that still exists. It’s one way you can make a difference and makes the world a better place.

XO,

I’m not really a fan of “How To’s” when it comes to eating healthy, because- quite frankly- there is something inside of each and every one of us that already knows the answer. It’s just a matter of heeding that knowledge and following through.

One of the most common questions I get is, “How do I eat healthy when dining out?”  Living in the “Land of Junkitarians”, I’m not gonna’ lie; this can be quite a challenge. And in some parts of the country, say in the South, it can be downright depressing (I know. Most of my family lives in “Fry-Me-Up-Anotha’-Mississippi”). BUT. You can feast and feel good about it without feeling guilty (you should never feel “guilty” when it comes to enjoying food. What that points to is a disconnect, and signals a need for a redefining/ a relationship-revamp with yourself and with the Almighty Edible. To that I say, you need to be workin’ with me!). At the end of the day, there’s nothing that a dash of willpower, a pinch of determination, and maybe even a lil’ bit of creativity can’t overcome. So, with that in mind, fork up, folks. Let’s dive into this plate of “How To”.

Questions to ask yourself:

1. Does this food support my overall health and weight goals, or does it totally sucker punch it in the face? (Big Picture Approach)
2. What has my intake been today so far? (Daily Calculation Approach)
3. What has my activity been like today? How mobile have I been? (Eat for your Activity Level Approach)
4. How nutritionally dense is what I’m about to break into? (Eat “Nutrient Dense” Approach)
5. How hungry am I, really? How good am I feeling about my ability to gauge when enough is enough? (Self Monitor Approach)
6. How often does this opportunity come around to enjoy this particular niblet? (Seize the Opportunity Smart Approach)
7. What’s the main ingredient in this edi-target o’ mine? (“Conscious-Eat” Approach)
8. How many plant-based foods are there vs. animal and flour- based? (Checks N’ Balances Approach)

If you’re at a “Foodie and the Feast” event or at a fine n’ fancy sit-down (read: “pretty” food is, literally, jumping out of the wall-cracks and volleying for your attention), gracefully take a “round about” of the room/ menu.  Survey each station/ course and what the goods are. Go ahead. Place judgment. Make a mental list with an “I. Am. SO. All Over This One” column, a “Maybe… If It’s Lucky” column, and a “No WAY Am I Putting THAT In My Bod-Pod!” column. Mentally categorize each dish you see.

After that exercise, you’re now ready for your second round-about. Ready, set, GO:

1. Take a small piece or portion of what you’d like to try. If there are 50 food stations, now, don’t go fillin’ your plate (or plates) up with 50 different foods. Choose the best of the best, “keep it smart”, sample n’ savor.
2. Employ the One Bite Rule. If you’ve got a number of different things you’d like to try, make ‘em one biters. Take a bite, enjoy, then move on.
3. Determine if it’s “calorie worthy”. ‘Nuff said.
4. If the main ingredient of a dish is plant (read: it’s tough to tell anything else that’s in it), go for it. If it’s flour or animal product, put it on the “One Biter” or “Maybe” list.
5. Don’t forget that liquids count, too. Cocktails n’ spirits come with extra party favors, too, and can get waaaay up there in terms of calories, sugar, fat and grams of useless carbohydrates. Make sure you take these into account and add them to your list when creating your mental “Menu of Enjoyables.”

So, there you have it. Eating out doesn’t have to be a nutritional disaster. You can easily keep the muffin top, food coma, and, therefore, the shame spiral at bay. You can sample, taste, savor and enjoy without the guilty after party. Just be mindful about what and how much you’re taking in, and you’ll be aaaaa-okay.

Party On.

XO,

I don’t usually make sweeping statements when it comes to nutrition and diet, but if I had to sum up my food-preach into one, bite-sized morsel,  it’d be: stick to foods that have itself as its own, sole ingredient and steer clear of processed, chemically-laden, pasteurized, meddled-with foods. Translation: go heavier on the plant-based foods.

• Juice n’ blend! Make juices and smoothies at home. Yes, this will require you to get a juicer and a high-speed blender (my left n’ right kitchen hands are my Omega VRT350S juicer and my Vitamix), but this is a GREAT way to get a ridiculous amount (read: a lot) of fruits n’ veggies in in one sitting… and have it taste great!
• Swap your milk for Almond Milk. My fave brand is Whole Foods organic brand. I get the Unsweetened version (the less amount of “stuff”, the better), but some folks makin’ the swap may find it easier with the Vanilla or “Original” kind (and you can also make your own! Super easy with a high speed blender… and you can add wild honey as a sweetener. Yum!).
• Make veggie sammies! Hummus for spread, leafy greens, sliced cucumbers, slice onions (make sure you have a Tic-Tac nearby), shredded carrots, slice of Havarti cheese or your cheese of choice, salt n’ pepper… voila.
• Yogurt fan? Add your own berries to it. I like to add Hail Merry’s Vanilla Maple Raw Almonds and berries to mine. DIYDS Foods (Do It Your-Damn-Self ). I’m a huge fan. That’s the only way you can be certain what’s goin’ in your bod-pod. And, nowadays, this is something we must pay more attention to.
• Soup additions. Jack up the nutritional value of any soup by adding: chopped broccoli, cauliflower, kale, or any other chopped veggie.
• Veggie Pasta! Ever heard of a spirooli? Get one. They’re fantastic. I got mine off of Amazon.com (of course). Instead of eating regular pasta, kick it up a notch by making your noodles out of zucchini and/or squash! So easy, so quick and so tasty! You can make lasagna, spaghetti, fettuccini, etc. Yum.
• Swap your cheese for …. Avocado on sammies.
• Make veggies your main course instead of meat.
• Add veggies to:  pizza, omelettes, quiche, pasta dishes, etc.
• Eat a dark green, leafy salad with lots o’ color. “But what about protein?” Beans + whole grains (Quinoa. Farro. Brown rice. Bulgar. Etc) = all 9 amino acids that make up a “complete protein”. There you go ☺

Overweight. Depressed. Food-obsessed. Shameful. Disappointed. Lost. Lacking sleep and energy. Low self-esteem. A whisper of confidence. Unfulfilled. Withdrawn. Sick and tired of being sick and tired. I know and understand these feelings all too well, and am here to tell you that feeling this way does not have to be your reality. Ever again and anymore.

It’s typical that when January 1st rolls around, so do plans and intentions for imminent change. Goal balls flying around. Gym memberships peak. Diet plans soar. Diet, self-help and exercise books n’ tools fly off the shelves at lightning speed. Know what’s awesome about this? It indicates a “Ready to Rock” mentality. A seeking one. People have identified (an) area/s that need some TLC and have made the decision to effort change. To that I say, BRAVO! *golf clap*

However, what most people are missing is what’s really going on; and what’s really going on is that we’re trying to conquer a battle- but have totally shown up at the wrong field! We’re taking a surface approach to fixing a deeper problem, and that deeper problem is a disconnection with our truest selves. Who we really are as human beings. Energetic. Soulful. Divine. Expansive beings. I think one of our greatest lessons in life is recognizing this and living into and through this.

Now, I know this sounds like a whole barrel full of fluffy, tree-huggy, woo-woo, malarkey sh….tuff, but hear me out.

It’s human nature to operate on a surface sensory level. Seeing. Hearing. Tasting. Touching. These are just a few ways our bodies were built to help us make sense of the world around us, and this is how we tend to address what we *think* are our “problems”. Body aches and pains. Nausea. Fogginess in the head. Feelings of depression. Sadness. Then comes popping pills, extreme diets and weight loss measures, lots o’ cocktails and special “numb-tastic” elixirs, and the infamous “if/then” tactics (“If I (fill in the blank) , then I’ll be happy”).

If I lose 30 lbs, then I’ll be happy.

If I get that promotion, then I’ll be happy.

If I leave him/her, then I’ll be happy.

If I get this monster lift on my Jeep, then I’ll be happy.

If I hit the lotto, then I’ll be happy.

If I get a puppy, then I’ll be happy.

If I have a child, then I’ll be happy.

Weight gain, food addiction, abuse and obsession, unhappiness, laziness, a hiccup of self-worth and love, etc., all of these things are mere symptoms of the submerged “something” that sits. And sits. And sits some more inside of us. It’s never about the food. The alcohol. The pills. The fat. The other person. The job. The symptoms our bodies have and our reality is an expression, a manifestation of the(mis)beliefs we are holding onto within. The belief system or set of beliefs we’ve developed about ourselves and the world around us that are drivin’ our life train.

Our happiness starts and ends with us. Nothing external can create it or take it away because it’s an ever-existing, true state that is unchangeable. True happiness is an extension of the divinity within all of us. The loving essence that’s at our core. The piece of God that resides inside (hey, that rhymed J). It’s always been there and will always be there. It’s our internal GPS system. Our gut instinct. Our intuition. Our all-knowing. It’s just a matter of peeling back the layers of (mis)beliefs, doubts and conditioning we’ve developed over the years to find it and hand over the reins. Clear as mud? ; )

Fact: everything is energy. Our beliefs. Thoughts. Words. Emotions. Behaviors. Bodies. When we pour so much energy and focus into something, it creates our reality. If we have a belief or set of beliefs somewhere inside of us that say/s we’re not worthy. Not lovable. Not valuable. That we have nothing to offer. We’re not smart enough. Pretty enough. Or good enough. Our world will reflect that right back to us, affirming what it is we already think and believe. Which is why it is super important to be mindful of the thoughts we think. The words we speak. Our feelings. Reactions. Behaviors. They’re very telling and are wonderful clues as to where we fall on the “what I believe” scale.

I’ve had clients that are obsessed with being skinny. Being skinny was the only thing that mattered.  “If I’m skinny, then I’ll be happy” was their mentality and daily mantra. It was the (mis)belief they operated on.  They became so obsessed with “being skinny” that their bodies immediately threw out some curveballs to show them that there was a disconnect. To make them wake up n’ snap-out-of-it.  When they were focusing on the “skinny” and that didn’t reflect back to them in their reality, they were like, “I’m putting all my thoughts and energy into being skinny. I’ve cleaned up my diet and am exercising, but I’ve actually gained weight! What gives?!?”  Yup. It’s because they were operating on a belief that wasn’t heart or soul-driven. It wasn’t truth. It was fear based and surface-driven. That’s the difference.  Their focus was more on what they didn’t want (to be fat and unhealthy) as opposed to what was in line with what lies at our core (to live through love and self-care so that we can love and give care). Fat was what they saw in the mirror. Fat, ugly, unworthiness, etc. Because we are surface-sensory people, what we see is what we have a tendency to (mis)believe; hence the challenge to address this shit once and for all (yea, I went ahead and said it). Take a pause and let that marinate for a moment.

In Summary:

We create our reality. When we focus too much on what we don’t want, we pour our energy into that. The intensity of our energy amps up what will manifest through how we feel about it, and guess what’s manifesting? Exactly what we don’t want.

People who think they’re going to find peace and happiness when they’re “skinny”, never do. Just like people who think they’ll find happiness when they have lots of money, or when they get that job promotion, they find that “perfect partner”, etc. Why? Because they’re looking externally for it. They may have some temporary jollies, but it’s nothing substantial and lasting, and is not aligned with who each of us are at our core.

Our internal beliefs drive our whole train. Weight gain. Food abuse and obsessions. Fear. Addictions. All are symptoms of these belief systems. When we just address the symptoms, we get temporary fixes. The root of the problem is never fixed. What our body tells us and shows us is reflective of something deeper and internal. When we dig deeper underneath it all, and address the core of it~ a beautiful transformation occurs, and we begin to see our body as more of a temple than a commodity.

If you really want to help yourself, go within. Do the grunt work. Dig and dig deep. Try to uncover the (mis)belief systems you are carrying around with you. Send them love, then start developing new ones. Empowering ones. Connect with the divinity within you. Start monitoring your thoughts and writing them down. Take notice of the words you are speaking. Act like an observer. You’re the scientist of you. Write them all down. They will help you get closer to unraveling what is underneath the behaviors and all.

Your body is trying to please you and wants to please you, but doesn’t want an altum metum. Not an “I’ll love you when _____________________” or “I’ll love you if ____________________”. Nuh-uh.

You’ve got everything it takes to do whatever it is you want to do. Let go of the illusions, of the victim mentality, of the blame game, and own your story. You are your story’s author, and this moment, this day is like a blank page ready for you to write a new one.

Work with yourself lovingly. Learn to accept yourself as you are, and trust your body to do and be everything you need it to do and be. Release. Forgive. Accept. Trust. Love. Respect. Honor. Nourish. Heal.

Show up, stand your ground and fight for yourself. If I can do it, YOU can do it. Trust me~ I’ve been there before. I’ve shed the tears. Felt like giving up. All of it. If you’ve reached your rock bottom, congratulations! For there is only one way to go, and that’s up.

Find the strength. Find the courage to take this head on. Step outside any voices of doubt, fear or unworthiness you may have dancing around your head. It’s time to tap into something deeper. Real. Claim your LIFE and affirm: THIS WILL NO LONGER BE MY REALITY.

Remember, you create your reality. Your reality is symptomatic of what lies underneath the surface. It’s time to stop focusing on the surface and pour your love and attention into what’s underneath. If this triggered something in you, it could be because there’s something within that is dyin’ to get your attention.

March on!

XOXO,

I had something incredibly exciting happen just recently. Like… the finger-chewin’, body-shakin’, sitting-in-complete-n’-utter-disbelief-with-mouth-frozen-wide-open kinda’ thing. My firstborn book baby, The UN-Diet Diet, has caught the eye of a publisher. AND. This publisher wants to help me birth it. Whaaaaaat?!

This response came just days after I started reading a new book I picked up (and was instantly glued to), The Big Leap (by Gay Hendricks). Now, if you’ve ever watched The Secret, kept up with Mike Dooley (Infinite Possibilities- a book and CD set fave), shared some aha!’s with Tony Robbins, and fed your girl-power with Danielle LaPorte (The Firestarter Sessions), you understand why this was an extraordinary coink-i-dink. Divine timing at its bestest.

When you don’t know what to do, don’t. Do. Anything. – advice from Mr. Mike Dooley’s beloved mother.

You see, after writing the book (and turning into a *crazed* serial editor for the last few months), it sat collecting cyber-dust in my Documents folder for a few months whilst I went back n’ forth on what the heck to do next. eBook? Self-publish? Seek traditional publishing? I spent a lot of time looking into all three, but still did not know what to do. SO. Remembering Mrs. Dooley’s wise advice, I didn’t do anything. Now, this was totally against my nature. I typically get super stoked about something then throw myself into motion doing whatever I can to make it happen. Patience- not really my forte. At all. And something I make a concerted effort to practice on a daily basis (not gonna’ lie. It’s a toughie. ESPECIALLY in D.C. area traffic. Oiy!).

A few weeks ago, I got the nudge to start shopping it around. Writing query letters, sending book proposals, etc. Keeping in line with Mike D’s “thoughts become things”, I spent the betterment of these past few weeks erasing negative thoughts. Like most of us, life had conditioned me to think that any kind of joy came with complications or was “too good to be true”, which fed my belief. Which, in turn, fed my reality. So I began to diligently delete all those flying mind-balls that poo-poo’d any nugget of hope or faith that this book, MY book, a collection of what I’ve been groomed to share, would resonate with anyone. Especially a publisher. I began eliminating any inkling of doubt that this book deserved to be “out there”. Doubt in my writing. Doubt in my worth as a health, body and life coach. Doubt in my abilities. Doubt in my message(s). Bleh! No more! I’m consciously choosing to create a different reality for myself, something we all have the power to do.

The Big Leap breaks down why it is we, when we begin to feel successful, joyful, exuberantly happy, we tend to slam on the brakes and move right back into our circle of comfort. It speaks of an “unconscious thermostat setting” we all have. A setting we operate through every day. It’s familiar. Comfortable. And predictable.  It’s our “Zone of Competence” or “Zone of Excellence”. Then, we’ve got what Hendricks refers to as “The Upper Limit Problem”. Our personal ceiling. Our own self-imposed barrier between these two zones …and the “Zone of Genius”. This barrier begins construction in our childhood and is the result of “misguided altruism” (misguided concern for others- which I suffered a loooooong time from). Not following our dreams. Keeping ourselves locked safe in a “box” so as not to “outshine” your siblings. Peers. Parents. You name it. As you age, this evolves into guilt- for not staying true to what fulfills you. Shame, for living by others’ standards and not your own. Doubt, in your abilities to make amends with your heart and soul’s deepest desire and begin again. And fear, for the uncertain. The unknown. The what-if’s.

Damn, did this book speak to me. It was, virtually, downright screaming at me through the pages. Its timing couldn’t have been better.

I was born with a lot of gifts. Singing. Rhythm and dance (white girl can dance. I’ll totally bust out “the Roger Rabbit” in the middle of the office, no problem). Drawing, painting, writing. I was born into a super creative family, so I get all these gifts quite honestly- as they say down south. For years I kept myself within the constraints of other people’s expectations and comfort levels. Careful not to sound like I knew any better when sharing thoughts and opinions. Careful not to become too good at anything I set out to do. What would my fiancée think? My friends? Would they all feel left out, inadequate, fear being left behind? Would they be jealous or supportive? Excited or threatened? Would they feel like their contributions lacked in comparison? Because I love the people whom have walked beside me through the thick and the thin, I didn’t wish any of these feelings upon them. I didn’t want to risk it. So I stayed playing small. Played nicely. Let everyone else’s moods n’ feelings dictate my moods n’ feelings. But everyday there was that lump in my throat. That eagerness and yearning I’d wake up with every single morning- like I had some uber important mission to complete. Like I was about to explode with something, only I didn’t know what it was. Yet.

But, you see…. all this crap I’m talking about, these are all constructs of the mind. Ego-based thinking. Anything outside of pure love is ego-based. Anything that comes from our head and not our center, our core, our divinity, our creativity, our soul, God… is ego.

What I outlined above was, yet, another lesson I was being called upon to stand up to, conquer and learn from. I cannot take responsibility for other people’s feelings. They’re not mine to take on. The answer buzzing in my ear is the ones that are meant to stay in my life will, and the ones that are not meant to, won’t. Simple as that. How people treat others is a reflection of how they feel about themselves. Where there is love and friendship, there is no jealousy and comparative thinking. Where people are in their lives, and how they feel about themselves and their circumstances, is totally on them. We are each on our own “you”-nique journey. And what The Big Leap re-emphasized to me was to believe in myself, embrace my strengths and not fear them (they’re God-given gifts, not threats), and have the f***ing courage to use them! If, in the end, I end up with a smaller tribe than I started; then love n’ light is sent their way and I continue to move forward in my truth. Following my soul’s guidance. Believing in a higher purpose and living the message I speak. And so can you.

Expecting GREAT things from you.

XO,

Now this is a topic that really hits home for me, and since I’ve been following Brene Brown’s *uh-maze-ing* work, I’ve been hyper-aware of.  Numbing. Yea. Let’s do this.

For as long as I can remember I’ve brought the day to an end with a relaxing glass of big, bold, hearty red wine. It’s been my ritual. Habit. I began wondering if I was an alcoholic because: a) well, my father is, and b) any night I didn’t have my nightly sign-off I felt really “off”.

After my divorce, I used to drink a bottle plus most nights of the week. At least a few glasses… and I guaran-damn-tee ya’ they were full. I was totally numbing. Trying to kill the anxiety. Ease the sadness. Eliminate the loneliness. Uncertainty. Insecurity. The fear (that was a biggie). This was during my rock-bottom period, one of my most educational, heavy-hittin’ life chapters (that I’ll always be grateful for). It was one of my coping and dealing-with techniques at the time, and a pretty expensive one.  Since then, I do still enjoy a glass or two of wine at night, but on some nights. Not all nights. And I’ve learned to keep my intentions behind doing so honest and in-check. If I go to pop a cork, I question myself: am I numbing, or simply wanting to enjoy a glass of wine with dinner. To be honest with you, probably a little bit of both. But I’m able to differentiate and see which answer I&r squo;m leaning the most towards. I used to argue that drinking lots of red wine was healthy. After all, it’s part of the Inflammation and the Mediterranean Diets. Yea. Nice try, Kim.

While I did go through a period of abuse, I always had a special appreciation for the grape. Especially in liquid form. So much that I was very close to going to sommelier school (after my plans for culinary school). Aside from appreciating how it’s crafted, how you can actually taste the vineyard (and what’s around it) in every sip, and how it can completely enhance even the most subtle flavors in any given dish, what I appreciated most about my nightly wine-cap was how it made me feel. Warm. At ease. No more edge. Why did I need el vino to get me to this happy place?

I learned that I wasn’t alone in this. Lots of people have ways of taking the edge off. Whether it’s a nightly alco-cap, getting lost in cyber-space, drumming up some unnecessary drama, hanging out for hours on some form of social media, blankly going from channel to channel on the boob-tube, over-working… we all. Do it. But why? What are we trying to numb? Put-off? Hide from? Depress? Prevent ourselves from feeling? There’s a fear in there, I’m sure, but what?

When we numb, we don’t just numb what we’re trying to escape, we also numb the joy. The love. When we numb, we numb across the board. It doesn’t discriminate or pick favorites.

Make it a point to spend more time with yourself. Reconnect. We’ve become so disconnected and disjointed with who we really are at our core, our essence, at our deepest soul level, that it’s time for a freakin’ revival.

Start a journal and get out of your head. Spend time in nature, reconnecting to what is always there and always true. Begin a prayer or meditation practice, sit with yourself in complete silence for minutes at a time, or start a yoga practice. Maybe begin an art ritual where instead of suppressing, you begin expressing yourself artistically and creatively.

We’re all creatures of habit. Recognize what habits don’t work for you, don’t serve you, or who and where you want to be in life. Dig deep, find out what seed it sprouted from, then plant a new seed and feed the growth of a new habit.

Plant with Love,

KH

I’m a busy-body. I love making the most of every given moment and usually find myself running full steam ahead most days of the week. I wholly believe with every fabric of my being that I was put on this earth to inspire, empower and encourage in my own Special K way, which is the underlying sauce that feeds my ambitions. Projects. Dreams. And goals.

That being said, it’s difficult for me to stop. I work full time doing something other than my heart’s desire, but it pays the bills. I coach, train and cook for clients, and write, research and develop programs outside of my 40 hour work week. To top it off, I’m a super committed dog-ma (you bet they get 1-2 hours of exercise every single day. Sunny or wet.), dedicate lots o’ time to helping homeless doggies and pups in need, maintain a well-kept and clean home, and make time to exercise myself every day. It’s exhausting, I’m not gonna’ lie, but the payoff rocks.

I’ve got a few big things looming over my head that I need to pay special attention to:

1. Getting my book, The UN-Diet Diet, published and out there.
2. Developing content for my new concept and website, www.PositivelyHealthyU.com, and getting it up and running (Positively Healthy University… more on that to come!).
3. Finish writing my Fit, Fab N’ Healthy 6 Week Weight Loss program.
4. Developing content for, yet another, new site for the pups. It’s going to be hip, fun AND will save a LOT of lives in the process. Stay tuned for this ‘un, too. It’s going to be… wait for it… LEGENDARY.

Some major, major projects goin’ on up in Kim’s space. So much that I’ve been feeling overwhelmed, stressed, anxious and totally depleted.

Stop, drop and take inventory. Something I need to make a conscious effort to do to avoid burning out. I, like many others, have tendency to go-go-GO without coming up for air, though I feel energized because I’m doing my heart’s work. Elated. Creative. I feel like I can’t get my ideas out fast enough and end up starting and stopping a lot of projects (and books) because of this. I can’t tell you how many random post-it’s I’ve got hangin’ around, emails I’ve sent to myself, and notebooks with ideas, writings, plans and other etchings. Time to come to a screeching halt and rewind. Take what’s filling up head space, and get it out and onto paper space. Doing this helps to de-clutter the mind. Organize thoughts. Promotes clarity. Easier navi-day-tion. I so need to do this so I can work on everything day by day, piece by piece and bit by bit. Review, assess and compile.

SO. When you start to feel overwhelmed, whether at home, work or elsewhere, remember. Stop, drop and take inventory. Take a pause, then a seat, and get out of your head so you can get ahead.

XOXO,

K

Vulnerability. Shame. Guilt. Fear. All run in the same circle. They’re all one big clique. Like, the popular bullies in school. Our school. The school of life.

I’ve been listening to Brene Brown’s 6 CD disc talk, “The Power of Vulnerability”, and am becoming hyper aware of what’s been directing my show. All four have pretty much been the popular kids on my campus for a long, long time.

I love how incredibly real Brene is. I connect with her, as I’m sure most people do with a truly engaging speaker.

I’ve been thinking and researching more and more about the power of our beliefs. At what point they develop. How they impact our lives. And how they get translated through our words and actions. Body language. Facial expressions. I’m now linking them together with the four bullies, the (mis)beliefs I’ve been operating from and the illusion-spells I’ve been under.

I would imagine most people can identify with this. Especially when it comes to relationships. I’ve said time and time again that relationship is one of our greatest teachers. Of ourselves and others. They truly are, and I’m now seeing how relationship gets bullied by the foul-tastic four. It’s relationship that teaches us and helps us to become more aware of how we perceive ourselves, our self-worth, fears and more.

My own relationship is one that has bewildered me from the get-go. When I met “Mr. A.”, there was an instant familiarity. An immediate, and shocking, connection. I felt like I had known him for years, and I dare say I have on another level. Over the five years we have been on and off with each other, we have grown and evolved so much. Most of this due to how we’ve tested and challenged each other in ways only we could.

These years have been full of laughter, heartache, fun, frustration, disappointment, excitement, uncertainty… and lots n’ lots of fear. Loads of it, actually. Everything this man represents has challenged me in ways I haven’t been sure what to do with. Most of my relationships I’ve been able to see a red flag long before it was waved in my face and stop it right then and there. With this man, it’s different. I find myself not being able to tell the difference between a 2×4 upside the head or a divine lesson meant for me to experience, learn and grow from. To challenge my own (mis)beliefs and illusions instead of trusting any assumptions I may have concocted.

(mis)beliefs + illusions + past experience + pain + disappointment =  stuck in the mud. Stagnant. Fearful. That’s where I’ve been for most of my adult life.

No more. I’m challenging myself to face my fears. Trust where I may have been too fearful to do so. Release control. Allow my vulnerability to shine through and compliment my strength as opposed to wallowing beside it.

People that have had “bad” things happen, lots of ‘em, tend to harden. When they come out of hard times, they find ways of existing that “work”. Routines. Doing the same, uncomplicated things over and over again because they’ve learned that pain and disappointment don’t live there, then hold on to it as tight as they can so they’ll never go back to the dark places they climbed out of ever again. I can relate to this all too well.

What I’m going to challenge myself, and all of you, to do is to do one thing a week that you fear. Maybe it’s talking to that guy or gal you’ve always wanted to talk to. Trying yoga  or a new sport. Telling someone you care about how you feel towards them. Getting the weight off your shoulders and disclosing to someone that you’ve lied. Running a 5K. Going rock climbing. Auditioning for something you’ve dreamed of auditioning for.

Staying true to our hearts and souls, despite the tricks our minds and egos play on us, is the highest practice of vulnerability we can embrace.

xo